At first the voices in my mind grew louder, shouting at me, even daring me to move forward, or shall I say more deeply inward. Over time, it became nearly impossible to move at all--I FELT PARALYZED. Going backward didn't feel like a viable option either even if I wanted to. I'd gained too much insight...returning to the "old me" felt even more uncomfortable.
Slowly over time I surrendered to the discomfort. And I began to draw in sensory experiences, mostly through nature, that felt both soothing and profound. It was as if the timing of these experiences coincided perfectly with my deepest need. These experiences provided an ever growing inner solace followed by a gentle softening.
And as these experiences deepened, I noticed how often I constricted my breath. With just this insight I slowly began to surrender into the transformative power of my breath...
As I began my journey inward I drew into my perception a different word to describe this dark space...and that word was "shadows". Something about this word piqued my curiosity and softened my trepidation. Memories of my childhood began to permeate my imagination and along with them my deep love of shadows. And then it became more of a playful dance inward as I visualized a symphony of shadows and light. Over time I began to look forward to the next exciting twist and turn.
But then my mind slowly crept in...
Are you sure you want to traverse this inner journey? You never know what evil lurks behind those shadows. You're NEVER going to be able to handle this. You're NEVER going to get through this. Who do you think you are? No one cares what you think or say or feel. Everyone will laugh at you! Or better yet they'll think you're crazy! Everyone will leave you, and you'll be completely and utterly alone...